The Blending of the
Elements
Marriage
& the Law
From
Paper to Platinum
Birthstones
Read the Right Book
Catholic Weddings
Hindu Weddings
The Art of Gifting
The Lighter Side of Weddings
Beauty and the Bride
Grooming the Groom
Marriage Customs in Goa
Budget Checklist
Contrary to popular
notion, the wedding day can be the most painful day for
the newly-weds. The more extravagant the nature of the
wedding reception, the worse the plight gets. The only
folks who enjoy the bash are the guests who, for the
investment of a tiny gift, can have a rollicking time.
This is a hastily drawn etiquette, not only for the
bridal couple, but for the wedding guests. The latter can
enjoy themselves without getting confused with the
programme which differs from community to community.
The guests are expected to turn up dot on time for the
Muhurat or the garlanding ceremony at a Hindu-style
wedding. But to get the best seats you must be
punctual for the nuptials of Catholic weddings. The bride
or the bridegroom may turn up late. No problem for them
as their seats are always reserved.
Punctuality does not always pay for guests who attend
Catholic wedding receptions. If anybody is a stickler for
punctuality he will end up either heating up the chairs
or cooling his heels.
I recall a co-villager of my village who wanted to teach
his guests for his wedding reception a lesson in
punctuality. He told me his ushers would debar entry for
guests who turned up after the wedding toast was raised.
With much trepidation I hastened on my motor-bike for the
reception at O Coqueiro's. I was not sure if
I would meet his deadline. I reached the venue at the
appointed time only to find myself as one of the first
guests. The bridal couple was still to arrive on the
scene.
Where greeting the bridal couple goes, the Catholic style
receptions are bridal-couple-friendly. The couple has to
suffer the torture of a non-stop pecking of their cheeks.
In the case of the lagins, the guests enjoy the facility
of a namaste. What is lost in terms of intimacy is,
however, made up by an invitation to the well-wisher to
pose for a photo.
The guests at the 'lagins' can look forward to the lunch
or dinner after greeting the newly-weds. At the other
wedding reception, one must have to suffer through the
dances. Some young bachelors even have to go
through mandatory dances with aunties and sisters before
they can settle down to a dance partner of their choice.
The bridal couple are expected to relax at the reception.
After all, they have been through a host of dances on
their own. The only time when the bride or the groom can
enjoy the dance, besides the special dance, is when they
dance with their ex-boy friends and girl friends
respectively at an organised session.
In the grand old days, receptions were great fun because
the dances were more important than food. In fact, there
was often no opportunity for a good meal at all. The
tired dancer had to make do with snacks and a
miserly helping of pulao. However, on an emptier tummy it
was easier to fall in love.
Nowadays, the love is more for the buffet. The only dance
some folks enjoy is the march that takes them to the
buffet table. Very often the march leads to a scramble
for the prized delicacies like tiger prawns. This is in
bad taste. In contrast, the Hindu-style wedding buffet is
more tummy-friendly. The veg dishes are not only healthy
but fresh. This gives more time to befriend members of
the same or the opposite sex, as the situation allows.
At the old-style weddings, video shooting was unheard off
so that people could enjoy dancing into the moonlight.
Nowadays with the punky bands in attendance, the refined
art of dancing has received a beating.
The European bridal couple vanishes half way through the
wedding reception. Partly to escape the second round of
greeting from the guests. In the case of Goan
weddings, the couple has to wait till the last guest
leaves the hall. Unless the marriage was arranged a
fortnight before and the bridegroom is leaving for the
Gulf after two days.
by Valentino Fernandes