MUSINGS

DARKNESS AT NOON

Dear Infant Jesus,

HOW do I begin to pen these lines to you? But somewhere deep down the inner recesses of my heart a small voice urges me to write to you on the occasion of your birth, to unwind the longings of my heart. For one thing surely I know, that in case I address this letter to any political leader, social worker or even to an editor, the same may not fetch the results I desire. They may reject me outright and dumped my letter in the dust bin. But, my convictions assure me that a letter to you will certainly fetch results and open up the flood-gates of your undying love and the mercy.

But, dear Jesus, I do not know where to begin and how to end this letter. Innumerable thoughts, ideas, worries, anxieties and, of 'course, some hopes, clutter my mind. All these I wish to convey to you honestly. The fear of missing the line and length of my ability to convey nags me. But, with your mercy I trust, you will fcomive my inability in putting things across in the right perspective.

Jesus, two thousand years ago you came down to this earth, to deliver us from sin and to usher in peace, love and harmony among mankind. You visited the world to give us life, and give it in abundance. During your lifetime, you gave us the commandment of love and fcomiveness. You taught us to love and fcomive our enemies. You also taught us that whenever we are hit on the right cheek, to offer our left cheek too ungrudgingly. Your bounteous love was repaid with ungratefulness, injustice, mockery and finally a death on the cross--an undignified end, fit only for the most hardened criminal.

Today, on this occasion of your birth, I write to you about a few things happening in our beautiful Goa--the so-called golden Goa. But, I don't see anything golden about it any longer, not even a trace of gold. The glitter is long lost and worn off. Today's man is proud, egoistic, self-centered and totally selfish. The river of compassion in his heart has run dry and in its place flows an ocean bristling with greed, lust, anger, revenge, hate, chicanery and deceit. Many innocent souls perish under the evil flow.
One can buy the principles and ideals of man for less than 30 pieces of silver. I feel that you were perhaps lucky enough to face one single Judas Iscariot, but, we face a Judas at every step, in every lane, willing to sell everything for as little as three pieces of silver. In our biggest misfortune, man loves his neighbour not, nor his enemies, at times not even his kith and kin. The love inflaming his heart revolves around his wealth and himself. For him, it matter little if that love destroys the bonds that bind humanity. Stoking the fire of hatred, he replaces the temples of love with those of hate and enmity. Rather than men sacrificing their lives for the benefit of others, it's an eye for an eye like situation, where people appear blood-thirsty. I don't mean to shock you but I am a little bit self-assertive and wish that you know the actual situation down here.

The days of discussing sensitive issues across the table and finding an amicable solution are long gone. The environment is no longer friendly and warm but hostile and explosive. Muscle and money power rule, and solutions depend on these two crucial factors. In the bargain, the weak and the poor are trampled upon, driven hell-wards. The law of the jungle has replaced the law of the land. I think you should pay a little attention to the wrong manner in which justice is meted out here and do something about it before things really get out of hand.

Inflation rages like wild fire, with the hope of dousing it out of sight. Hit below the belt and immobilised, to common man knows not how to overcome the stifling situation because he hardly knows from where his next meal will come. The bold and the beautiful and the rich and the famous dine and wine at the fancy five-star resorts, but the poor live the day in hope and spend the night in despair on an empty stomach.
The fact of the matter is, this monster called inflation eating into the common man's life is not god-sent but man-made. Being the creator, man also knows the ways and means to wipe it out completely. But he lacks the will to do so, having turned immune to the feelings of his fellow beings. Loot and let's loot is his aim in life.

The book of Genesis tells us that God made man from a speck of sand. Today, man has stepped forward and created for himself an alter ego called the 'politician'. You will be surprised to know that this curious character called 'politician' is a living devil, outwitting Satan into looting, plundering, cheating and double-crossing, employing his state-of-the-art tool called 'corruption'. He has nurtured the highly contagious and more dreadful disease to epidemic proportions. Sad to say, this malady has eaten into the moral fabric of beautiful Goa. The common man fears ''corruption" much more than he fears the deadly AIDS because it stunts the growth in every sphere in this land. The wheels of development are moving at snails pace, fully infested with corruption. Hard to believe, but you must. Just to justify my claim, you know, besides being the land of sun and the sea blessed with natural beauty, Goa has won new sobriquets--"The land of the falling bridges" and "bursting water pipes" with none knowing the reasons for these tumbling bridges and frequently bursting pipes. Right now at this very moment as I write to you, the tap in my kitchen is running dry and hisses like a snake. And by the way, before it skips my mind, I must inform you that the sick Zuari bridge is undergoing urgent multiple-coman transplant while the commuters suffer in silence at either end, waiting their turn to cross (only after making the sign of the cross).

Dear Jesus, we, Goans, seek liberation from all this misery. The chains of corruption suffocating us need to be broken, the common man needs to be set free from his destruction. This mammoth task can be achieved by you and you alone. For we are frail and weak. Only you can liberate us.

Times are not the same anymore. There is no safety to life. Gone are the days when we snoozed away to glory with the doors and windows wide open. The situation's pretty grave and dangerous with a trigger-happy killer here and a knife-wielding goon there. Our mothers, wives, daughters and sisters feel unsafe. Criminals hardly wait for the sun to set or the night to fall, crimes occur in broad daylight. The guns boom with alarming regularity. 'Contract killing' and 'Supari', terms unheard of a few years back in this land of St. Francis Xavier, are the in-things today. Even a five-year old school boy knows what they mean. Shocking, to say the least.

So, something has to be done, and done very fast in this land. And who else is better qualified to do all this than you Lord Jesus? Am I asking for too much? Certainly not, I suppose. The flame of brotherhood, love, peace, happiness and unity has to be lighted all over again and this darkness at noon has to be rekindled to help mankind to start anew with a renewed hope and brighter vision. Show us the right path, and save us from every evil that lurks around at every nook and corner. You can do this Lord. On your birth-day I ask you to bless us all with your love and compassion and bring us the new dawn, dispelling the darkness at noon.

Sincerely yours,
Daniel F. de Souza

P.S. There's lots more to write about the rave parties, rapes, drugs, extortion, AIDS, chronic political instability, defections, et-all, but, I would prefer you to have a first-hand account of all this on your second coming.

Daniel F de Souza
is a regular free-lance writer
for most of the dailies in Goa.
He is a regular contributor
to the Konkani publications,
particularly "Gulab".